Raj Editorial - from A Way of Life Issue 12.1   |   Text View

Since we first conceived the title for this Journal I have been contemplating that byline - "What on Earth am I waiting for?"….why on Earth did we choose that!

I have been trying to place the blockage in me that keeps me from just plain dropping in and trusting implicitly that everything is perfect and that God is working through me. Just in this moment of writing I realise the essence of my resistance - I AM TERRIFIED OF THAT POWER, MY POWER!

What if I truly 'let go' - I loose all opportunity to be the victim, to be at the effect of the world and I have to recognise absolutely that I am the cause of everything, and that I have always been and always will be. Talk about responsibility! Now you may think that in this 'work', in this extraordinary life I lead, that all this would be obvious, not so. The deeper or closer I get to the truth, the more subtle become the games I play. I realise that if I accept 100% responsibility for my life, I engage a power source that is not mine but of which I Am and in so doing all I create will be magnified by that power. Do I really want to go that far? That fast?

Ahhh! The crux of my question then becomes, "Do I want to go that far?" So many people, friends of the Heart who are on this same path as me say, "I am not ready yet to give it all up!", "I am not ready yet to stop enjoying the world!", and ask, "Can't I play a little longer?"

What is it that we think we are going to lose, miss out on? At what point does opening to God become so desirable that the world can fade into insignificance to a point where I will just 'Let Go' willingly. Why do I have to wait until something forces me out of my comfort zone? When did I last call on an angel or whatever greater aspect I look up to just to say, "Hello and thanks for being there" No, the only time I ask for help is after I have failed trying once again, 'to do it for myself or my way". Why can't I just stop trying to make things happen the way I want them to?

As I write this the 2007 year is about to begin. So, I ask myself, "Is Now The Time? What if I start the year off with a new way of Being. What if I drop the little 'me' and move into allowing God to flow through me and truly become that "Servant of God". What if everything I demonstrate from now on becomes an expressing of that Mystery? What truly do I have to lose?"……

I might lose my FEAR of the Father's power and by extension, fear of That power which will come to me, The essence of that fear lies in my questions, "Am I worthy, am I capable, am I to be trusted?" I cannot know the answer to these questions, I can however make the turning of them over to God my very first action and let That One decide and show me where to go from there.

Now Love flows into my heart, something inside is stirring, awakening even as I write this. I notice that I have touched a cord, pulled on the bell rope to my soul and expressed a desire to move further, deeper into the truth of who I am. I like this sensation. It feels warm and fuzzy, a little hollow in the solar plexus, some nervous flutters deep in the belly. Thoughts come quickly - "Have I overstepped the mark, am I sure that I want this? Now a thought arises, "We can always pull back if it gets too hot" (who is 'we', where did that come from, and too hot for whom, I wonder?)

I am getting the impetus to change the form of the editorial now, go back to something less personal, explain something to the readers and to stop sharing this process less I be judged. Interesting to witness the discord, this is great stuff ! It's amazing, there is really 'someone' here who is quite concerned about where all this going. So let's keep pushing the envelope - oh, another thought - we (note the 'we' again!) don't have to print this, it's just a typing exercise. Well, what if I did let it go as the editorial? So what, maybe it is what my friends out there want me to share. If I can't share with these ones who are on the same path then who indeed?

And so the process goes. Yes, I do want to experience that ever present and supporting Flow. That is my 'God" - that indefinable Mystery that is Everything - All That Is. It is the very flow itself, not as I had previously assumed, the river, not even the water, not even the current, it is the dynamic of the Flow. That it how It gets to be in everything. That is why I cannot ever be separate from It even if I pretend. Imagine the water or the river believing it was everything and attempting to make its own way to the sea. Without the Flow it actually becomes a stagnant lake and that is exactly what I am when I refuse to acknowledge God as my Flow and that I Am as That. Once I move into allowing this recognition - it will come to me and then I start to move as I have never moved before. The Flow is me. And that which was the lake suddenly becomes a living vibrant force in harmony with all things, and as that I Am at one.

You know, I truly have no excuse! If you have read the account of Suz and my journey from September to December Bali - Israel, to Sinai, to France, to America and back to Oz you will have read how many times we touched that Flow, how often we allowed ourselves to be led in absolute trust into circumstances and where we were, in every single instance, held in the palm of Grace - perfect occurrences, perfect outcomes, perfect blessings with never a doubt from one moment to the next. It's on the front page of the website - www.wayoftheheart.net - so, if I have already tasted the nectar of the wine that comes from being at One and know it to be available to me, I truly can have no reason or excuse not to remain there.

In the last few weeks I have discovered the "WOW Factor" - maybe I should copyright this quickly. It's that moment when you realise that something 'extr-odinary' has happened - like when I received an email a few minutes ago from Wayan in Bali telling me excitedly that the new Bali Outreach sign had just been affixed to the College gates. I say, "Wow!" which I did and I automatically smile and........something previously not connected, connects in me like the moment as a phone is answered.

I know that "WOW!" brings me directly into the Flow (that which I know as God) and that I am in it up to the eyeballs for as long as the wonder of "WOW!" stays with me. As that feeling dissolves so I slide back into my more resistant nature - you know the one you used to have that wanted to be 'right' and 'do things its way'.

The WOW! factor - its all about staying right there in Wowland. Maybe I'll write a best seller called " The Power of Wow!" sort of a non intellectual idea of "The Power of Now".

This is how the shift will finally occur for me - from being in the world with all it's drama and intrigue, the pain and suffering and at the effect of something outside of me pushing me around and then to seeing God in everything, witnessing it, embracing it en-joying it. Maybe at first I only touch that magical space every now and again marvelling in the feeling that comes from being in the Flow that carries me along.

Yet it will grow because as I make space, allow, it becomes more forceful, invited and I slip into that feeling of being at One in that Space all the time, to be in the world but not of it, then witnessing in wonder, those moment when I make a choice to drop out of Grace and touch again the effect of the world.

WOW! That is the interesting experience. Like leaving a comfortable home and going out to a cold restaurant and bad meal - you can't wait to get back home again and you wonder why you ever thought of going out.

It's all tied up in my perception of course - how will I see - it or IT? And will I choose for the Good, the Holy and the Beautiful? Jeshua calls it, "being the extension of love in form" because that is exactly what is feels like - that Flow - boy, I sure know when I am in it and I certainly know the difference when I choose to drop out of It. And you know what? I am the only one who can decide where to place my focus and, when I will choose to make that shift.

So, back to the first question, "What on Earth am I waiting for?" NO-THING! Here I am hanging on the edge of this New Year - a blank canvas on which I can write my own script or shall I choose to see what God has in store for me? I know the answer this time and I will, "Let Go' and let it all unravel. Sure Suz and I have plans but they will only manifest if there are the Will of God and now all I have to do is pay attention to what I am being shown and guided to. Isn't that more fun than gambling, pushing and shoving to make it happen?

Would you like to play together in the New World? - I've already started and yes, the water is warm - come on in!. Blessings to you all,

Raj

PS Just a note about David Hoffmeister upcoming visit to Australia - I am sure that you all know how I feel about him and those of you who had the pleasure of close contact with him last year will agree that meeting this 'dynamic' is an experience and such a 'wake up' call to how we can all live our lives.

I have never, well almost never, certainly very seldom met a Christed one - my definition for someone without judgment, without conditions, without preferences and without expectations - in David for me anyway, I see only the expression of Love and I want what he has found, and last year in his presence I lived it with him.

It is this quality that David shares and just is, wherever he goes and why he is so sought after. When we are in that vibration It automatically lifts us to It. That is the gift to taste, feel It inside and to know It, to know LOVE - from then on it is a much shorter step to becoming It. (see back page)

So, in thinking about how to explain the Retreat I asked David what people who attend might expect and he replied……..Awakening in Love: Giving Divinity and Taking Nothing Personally

Are you ready to go deep within and experience a happy dream and gentle Waking to Reality? This Easter Retreat in the Blue Mountains of Australia offers an opportunity to glimpse the timeless State of Present Love that never ends. To learn to give the gift of Divine Love instead of temporal objects and to interpret with forgiveness instead of taking things personally - this is the goal of our Retreat in the Blue Mountains.

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